Could someone tell me what the order of the ancient fewmets is?
I suppose I should give this a try.
The OAF is an award given to individuals for varied and umm. . .
interesting contributions to life within the Kingdom of Calontir. The
first OAF was decorated for ritual sacrificing of chairs, embroidered
eye-patches for people with two good eyes, singing rude songs to royalty
from other kingdoms, and most particularly for his rediscovery of
Hatchet Hand. Hatchet Hand is a primitive form of calligraphy
originally practiced by the inhabitants of Gondwonaland in 10,000 BC,
using a sharpened rodent for a quill. Its letterforms are also quite
well suited for creation with a stone axe or similar implement. As a
symbol of his achievement, he was given a token - a small bag containing
very ancient fewmets - more clearly stated; fossilized turds. This
paragon's name is Pavel Iosevich.
Later OAFs were given the award for equivalent, if not exactly similar
contributions. Despite that, many of them are well known and otherwise
productive members of the Kingdom.
Hatchet Hand is also important because it is the calligraphic hand of
choice for OAF scrolls. Generally these scrolls are produced on-site,
the day the award is given, using suitable materials - usually crayons
and crumpled grocery bags although other materials have been discovered.
OAFs have several prerogatives. The most cherished is that OAFs are
automatically last in the kingdom order of precedence - no matter what
other awards they have. Therefore you will see them introduced last in
any Crown Tourney they enter. On the several occasions that the King
has been an OAF, the order of precedence has been described as a Moebius
Strip; the top is the same as the bottom, just a little twisted.
I think this covers the most salient points about the Order of the
Ancient Fewmets. Of course, you never know when new and appropriate
traditions will be added.