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Cindy Shaw <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Tue, 13 May 1997 00:41:00 +0100
text/plain (542 bytes) multipart/appledouble (542 bytes) , application/applefile (598 bytes) , Joke du Jour (3074 bytes)
[log in to unmask] wrote:

> Lynette:
> I seem to remember you saying something about graphite you apply to your
> Iwata when the lever sticks.  Details, please, my lever is sticking.
> Thanks,
> -Clara>>
> I use a dab of vaseline. Seriously. Between the control lever and the
> whatever thing that pulls back the needle.
> --Paul Mirocha

I was always under the impression that Vaseline (or other petroleum
jellies) were harmful to metals and rubber; and that silicone jellies
were supposed to be much better.


P.S. The attachment is optional reading

An elderly lady walked into a branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she would like to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank. Due to the amount of money involved, the teller seemed to think this was a reasonable request and after opening the paper bag and seeing bundles of $1,000 bills which amounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the president's secretary to obtain an appointment for the woman. The woman was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal level. The bank president then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No," she answered. "Was it from playing the stock market?" he inquired. "No," she replied. He was quiet for a second, trying to think of where this elderly woman could possibly have come up with $3 miilion dollars. "I bet," she stated. "As in horses?" he asked. "No," she replied. "I bet people." Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet on different things with people. All of a sudden she said, "I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10:00 tomorrow morning your balls will be square." The president figured she must be off her rocker and decided to take her up on her bet. He didn't know how he could lose. For the rest of the day he was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances as there was $25,000 at stake. Whe he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure everything was OK. There was no difference in his scrotal appearance. He looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the woman to come in at 10:00, humming as he went. He knew this would be his lucky day -- how often did he get handed $25,000 for doing nothing? At 10:00 sharp the woman was shown into his office. With her was a man. When the bank president asked what the other man was doing in the office, she informed the president that he was her lawyer and she always took him along when there was that much money involved. "Well," she asked, "what about our bet?" "I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same as I've always been, only $25,000 richer!" The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought this was a reasonable request considering the amount of money involved and dropped his drawers. She instructed him to bend over and then she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough everything was fine. His balls were not square. The bank president then looked and saw her lawyer standing across the room, banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he inquired. "Oh, him," she answered. I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 this morning I'd have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."