I have to agree here in some ways. My first "Away from home" event in Calontir someone I knew at the time, who had welcomed me into the 'fold' as it were yelled at me for not bowing to a brass hat I didn't even see. It was bad enough that I went out into the parkinglot to cry. It was the first time I had ever met Sir Malachi. Back then his hair was long, he wore purple lame. (I have pictures) His schmoozy voice of encouragement and kind eyes is something I remember to this day. I still consider him a dear friend though I don't see him but every few years for a short time at Lillies. I remember the event that this happened to, the person who yelled at me and the loss of trust and respect I had for that person still holds true. However, they are thankfully, no longer in the SCA.
I recently cooked for Crown tourney here in Aethelmearc. It was an all day sideboard. For 6 months I researched, prepped, tried out recipes and did the pre-cooking for a site that had nothing. No stove, no bar-b-que grill... just electrical outlets. Now my kitchen is the worst laid out kitchen. I have less than 5 linear feet of counterspace including my flat topped oven/stove. I fed 130 people or better. I stood on my feet all day. Smiled so much my face hurt for two days after, and you know what? I have not had THAT good a time at an event I worked in ages. I was on clouds all day. Not everyone liked the food. Not everyone thought I had enough vegetarian fare. But those that did stood out so much that the rest didn't even filter through.
My advice such that it is, is to remember those things that enamored you in the first place. Remember the smiles, the laughter and the good things. Learn from the things that bother you or were said in rudeness as something NOT to do to someone else. Don't let even one peer ruin something you love. If you truly love what you do..... capture those moments and keep them close in all that you bring to the SCA and your mundane life. It is those things which people will remember you for. Bitterness will only eat you from the inside.
I've made a great many mistakes in the SCA since I joined 19 years ago. There are those people who still dislike me greatly enough that they say horrible things about me when I'm not around. That is their call. But there are also those who have known me all this time, watched me stick my foot in up to my neck, let me dig myself out and stuck by me to find I am the better person for it all. It is those people who matter. NOT those which do not take the time, but pass judgement quickly, without let or hindrance to the situation, circumstances or people involved.
Just my opinion, and everyone has them.... I hope it helps.
Barony of Blackstone Mountain
> Vitaliano Vincenzi <[log in to unmask]> was kind enough to write:
> > And that's why the "period police" got me in such an uproar last time.
> > I researched for 2 years for the recipes I used at feast. Only one
> > item had a non-period ingredient only because the period ingredient
> > would have put the whole feast over budget.
> > Then to have my work criticized was just the nail in the coffin. I
> > mean, if you didn't like the food, fine, I can deal with that. But to
> > tell me that my two years of work, and hours of slaving in the kitchen
> > before and during the event were in vain just kills the joy of period
> > cooking for me.
> With respect, m'lord:
> You are proud of your careful research and hard work, and it sounds like you
> should be.
> One Calontirus told you that "two years of work were in vain"? I mean,
> literally said those words? As an uninvited critique? That strikes me as a
> rude person.
> But in cooking, you submit your work for public consumption and response.
> The same is true for costumers, heralds, performers, and hundreds of other
> artisans. We all have people come up to us, tell us what they like --or
> sometimes dislike-- about our work, ask questions and offer suggestions.
> But we, as a society, are a pretty easy audience. People paid hard money
> because they wanted to eat your food. Your kitchen work probably garnered
> many accolades and thanks. Perhaps the cooks were called out into the
> dining hall and given a round of applause. And amidst all of that, one
> person told you something rude.
> If the only standard that will satisfy you is a 100% enthusiastic positive
> response, then I think you've chosen wisely, to only cook for your friends.
> I look forward to one day sampling your wares,
> Christian d'Hiver