Melisende, this was a really good, thought-provoking blog! Thank you for posting it!!!
One Lady's take on a couple of tendencies in the SCA she's seen that distress her. I don't think all of these necessarily apply to Calontiri, but it couldn't hurt to read this and think about it.
Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.~Jacob A. Riis